Episodes

Monday Jul 17, 2023
180 - Aunt Kathy’s Cooter Critters
Monday Jul 17, 2023
Monday Jul 17, 2023
Hello Dirty Dongers! Join us for another fabulous podcast that will save your very existence. Chris has a friend named Todd who is licking his niece's butt. Tennessee is trying hard to sell fake weed. Jason publicly shames Chris for being a dirty welcher on social media. Chris lives next to a serial killer. Jason is overwhelmed by hillbillies at Buc-ee's. Should a judge be allowed to sing hip hop in his underwear? Should 11 year old kids drive cars in the city? Is Jason too old to be smoking out of a soda can bowl? Did Chris hit a 4 year old with a golf ball? Join us to get all the answers to life and maybe a few giggles.

Monday Jul 10, 2023
179 - Ol’ Pee Pants McLoser
Monday Jul 10, 2023
Monday Jul 10, 2023
Hey Dribble Sac Mcquacks! What it be! Tune in this week to listen to a couple of knuckleheads just trying to make you giggle. Chris is afraid he's going to get the ugly girl at the sex party. Jason is thinking of ways to join the back office of a cartel. The guys encourage the Australian gymnastic to start taking heroin to help with their balance. The Reds may not suck for awhile. Jason's dong got bigger after fixing his washer. Chris was the stinky guy at work. Pickleball is for dorks. Chris chooses to get bit by 5 really, really homeless fellas instead of a few non-poisonous snakes. Listen, I won't tell anyone if you don't.

Monday Jul 03, 2023
178 - Bumpin’ Uglies in the Morgue
Monday Jul 03, 2023
Monday Jul 03, 2023
It's me, Hi, I'm the problem....and you will be too if you don't listen this week. Join us for a life saving podcast! The guys try to make sense of life after Taylor Swift comes to town and causes a storm of glitter, confusion, and disappointment. Chris ponders diving deeper into sexual depravity but won't make love in a room full of dead people. Jason watched a wreck and didn't think twice before driving away before helping out because he's a horrible person with strangers. Chris wins the lotto but won't give Jason 5 dollars. How is it possible that only 80 percent of men can point testes out on a diagram? Tune in, ear lobe lickers!

Monday Jun 26, 2023
177 - Gas Station Burgers w/ The Heavy Weights
Monday Jun 26, 2023
Monday Jun 26, 2023
Konichiwa, ya creeps! This week is another BIG show w/ the Heavy Weights (Nathan, Jason, and Matt) and the Ivory Bull (Chris). We talk about how to properly be a fatty on a road trip although we all agree that fat people are the worst. Jason thinks of becoming a gay after a magical moment under a bridge singing Whitney Houston at the Pride parade. Chris describes his experience being the bull to a new body building cuck couple. Nathan shows up late and contributes little to the show because Jason and Chris just talk over everyone. Matt defends bad eye brows. Jason finds out he loves Riverdance but realizes he never had a choice because of his Irish roots. Will Chris finally dye his hair red or will he stay a dirty welcher for life? Tune in or I'll find your Mom's garden and poop on her spices.

Tuesday Jun 20, 2023
176 - Limbless Lovin’ and the Ragin’ Redlegs
Tuesday Jun 20, 2023
Tuesday Jun 20, 2023
Shalom sassy-nips! Join the guys for another world saving podcast! The Trumpster is dominating the polls despite being a turd. The Cincinnati Reds are dominating with an incredibly young lineup and maybe we were all wrong about Red's ownership. Can America vote for a guy that talks like Robert Kennedy Jr? Does John Kruk own a robotic pleasure machine? Cincinnati loves any white ball player who hustles. Bob Huggins gets another dui. A hero farts on a taco in Indiana. We talk about some of the best sexual bucket list fantasies. Chris is shocked that Jason won't kill dogs for a million dollars unless they're poor. Papa Johns sucks. All that and other crap. Tune in, Pumpkin Poops!

Monday Jun 12, 2023
175 - When Wanking Off Turns Deadly
Monday Jun 12, 2023
Monday Jun 12, 2023
Guten Tag, gopher nuts! Join the fellas for another life saving podcast! We discuss casual racism at a local ice cream shop, how you can tell if a neighborhood is safe by the availability of a usable toilet, and why you should pay attention to your brother even when you're jerking off. The creator of the Silk Road writes in and offers to pay us to stick drugs up our butts and sneak them into jail for him. Some guy wants Chris to take pictures of him wanking off to his pictures of his wife. Jason gets upset when a Jamaican guy recommended a white reggae band to him. The guys giggle at a list of porn star names. Tell your bird to take a walk and relax with the fellas for a quick chuckle.

Monday May 29, 2023
174 - The Shame Shack w/ Whoopi
Monday May 29, 2023
Monday May 29, 2023
Hey fatty! Stop pretending you can see your dong and tune into this week's show! Whoopi joins the fellas this week to hit on all the hot news of the week. Jason hates Whoopi's shirt. Chris gets mad dogged after staring hard at a dude's girlfriend. Jason asks his wife if she's shopping in the fatty section and a grumpy looking plump lady gets angry at him. Whoopi tells us that she's going to get all the D now that she's swimming. The Hairy guy is eating 6 pounds of spaghetti a day because he's an idiot. Mr. Bert stops by to review a few movies and tell us about his uncle's spitting serpent. All that and Chris is still old. Listen up!

Sunday May 21, 2023
173 - Bust a Nut in Your Macaroni feat. Juggalo Josh
Sunday May 21, 2023
Sunday May 21, 2023
Ladies and gentleman Welcome to your death! Now let's see where you're headed. Turn the crank and experience what's in store for you. Don't worry it's not the Riddle Box, it's just another life saving episode of Shut Up Cincinnati. This week we are joined by local Juggalo, Josh H. We get deep into the Dark Carnival and discuss what it means to be a Juggalo. We let Josh sell us on going to the upcoming Gathering of the Juggalos but Chris just seems interested in the "Show Us Your Butthole" tent. We find out that one of our favorite Juggalos, "the whippit guy," is a dear friend of Josh's. We talk about Super Humman but can't neither confirm or deny that he is a window licker. Jason tells us about his sewer issues and the 5ft hole full of poop that the plumbers had to wade in so the family can crap in the house again. Chris defends himself against being a 1980ties rapist. Hairy Guy catches shit for being a creep as well as blamed for Jason not hitting record again. We do some segments and call it a day. Whoop! Whoop!

Sunday May 07, 2023
172 - Wear Some Socks, Peckerhead!
Sunday May 07, 2023
Sunday May 07, 2023
Hello taint touchers! Join us this week as we solve all the world's problems. Chris tries a new butt toy. Jason warns guys to stop wearing sandals unless they want to die alone. No one likes tipping on take out orders. Where did the stripper put a man's dentures? How can you buy meth and heroin in Canada from a mobile truck? Why do people that can't handle their alcohol pretend like they got drugged to make up for their horrible behavior? We talked about other stuff too but it's a secret unless you listen so tune in, buttercup!

Sunday Apr 30, 2023
171 - My First Rub & Tug
Sunday Apr 30, 2023
Sunday Apr 30, 2023
Bonjour buttsniffers! Join us for the most important podcast in the world. Chris crosses another feat off his bucket list and visits a rub and tug. Jason has a dream where he joins a cult and murders people. After months of begging like a couple of sissies, a few listeners email the show. Jason tries to convince Chris the Bengal's draft didn't suck. The guys talk about the finer points of Juggalos. Put down the bagel, bite down on that pillow and tune in!